Something I try to live by

Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him, for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low, could still be saved; the bitterest enemy and also he who was your friend could again be your friend; love that has grown cold can kindle.

Too hot to do much of anything

I just started my daily routine, which is to do the crossword puzzle while I have coffee and take my medication.
Then, usually I check my email, and check the MS support site on face book. But, as I went to look at my gmail in-box, I heard the vacuum cleaner downstairs.
The last time my mother vacuumed in hot weather, I had my air conditioner running in my room, and my mother had her's running downstairs, when the fuse blew, somehow it corrupted the driver for my wireless network software, and I had to get a new network adapter.
This time, I shut down my computer, and waited until I heard the vacuum stop before powering up my computer just in case another fuse blew.
All seems to be working, no power surge, so I am making the usual blog entry.

Well, it stopped raining..

As soon as the sun came up, the little yap-yap reported that Timmy is trapped in the well again.
Having worked full time since I was a kid has made it impossible for me to sleep once the sun is up. I feel like a vampire. I never was a "morning person" but on bright mornings like this one, the sound of increasing traffic outside makes me panic as if I'm late for work.
I may have been a cattle rancher in a past life. In the old movies, they were always up at the crack of dawn.

It is cute, but...

I have neighbors who are a couple with a cute little dog the got recently/ I don't know the name of the breed, but “Yap-yap” would be my guess.
How this little dog produces such a loud noise is a mystery. And what it is yapping at is also an unknown.
I wonder how a creature so annoying could have come into existence.
I was thinking about my friend who was so fed up with car alarms in his neighborhood, he said he was going to design a car alarm seeking missile. I love animals, but this one yapping at imaginary trespassers can have no useful purpose.

Whoopy! I have MS!

I have been told that I have an easy going nature. I have been described as laid back.
In many cases, when a problem arises, I've heard people say, “Don't let it bother you,” or “You can't let it get to you.” But I'll admit, that when something bothers me, it bothers me.
If, for instance, it starts raining, I find a place where I can be sheltered, or use an umbrella. Because the falling rain bothers me.
There is a common expression, “Not smart enough to get out of the rain,” It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with rain, but I think that most people prefer to be out of the falling rain.
In a similar way, pain is something most people try to avoid. It is there to indicate that something is wrong, and should be addressed and remedied.
For the last five years, I have been dealing with multiple sclerosis. In order to do the things I have to do, like shower, shave, or eat, I have, to some extent, ignored the fatigue and uncoordination, and tried to go along as I would before these things started to interfere with my performance. But it does bother me.
“Oh, someone cut my arm off? No problem, I won't let it bother me,”
This is what I mean, there are times when you are supposed to be bothered by something. If there is nothing I can do about a problem, I don't just ignore it, because usually it is something that bothers me.
I feel bad if my condition worries others, but I can't do what some people have grown to expect me to do. If it bothers them, how do they think I feel about it?
As a young kid I remember doctors saying “You will feel some discomfort” as they began to administer an inoculation. Afterward, I thought,”Discomfort?! That's PAIN!
One of the first neurological problems I got was peripheral neuropathy. Now, that is discomfort. It felt like I was getting athlete’s foot. But after using all the over the counter medications for a month, I went to a doctor. She could see no fungus, or any other reason for the discomfort.
The doctor asked if I drink alcohol. I told her that I brew ale as a hobby, and she concluded that the alcohol was the cause of a loss of myelin in my peripheral nerves.
The jobs I have had have exposed me to many things which can cause myelin loss, but after being tested for any of these things in my blood, they found none of the suspected chemicals or pathogens.
So I have just tried to ignore the discomfort with some success. But in 2002, I started having bouts of double vision, A neurologist suspected that it could be multiple sclerosis, and had me start a series of MRI scans to see if there was the pattern of myelin loss associated with MS.
The first scans were done at three month intervals, and were all inconclusive until, in 2005, they were able to see the results that indicate MS.
The months prior to the diagnosis had me nearly convinced that I was losing my mind. With all the doctors and medical specialists in Boston, it was hard to believe that it took so long to just get a diagnosis.
Strangely, it was a relief to get a definite diagnosis.
“Yay, it IS MS!”

Coincidence?

How is it that something as frustrating as a bad video game is played on a thing called a console?

:20 AMAugust 17 at

I can't believe I'm awake, maybe I'm not. Actually, I know I'm not. Gotta get some coffee, I hate this waking up thing, but it beats the alternative. Multiple sclerosis makes waking up harder. The other day, a friend of mine said, "I imagine that even a single sclerosis would be bad." I guess he's right.

What is the right way to say this?

    It seems that lately I often say just the wrong thing. "Sticking one's foot in one's mouth" is especially stupid if you also have, as I do, the tendency to "shoot yourself in the foot."

--
JFC

Mental Gridlock

Today I am in a thought mode wherein I have so many great ideas, that there is what amounts to a traffic jam and the attention I pay to one idea gets usurped by another, canceling out the first one. Oddly, I have felt it difficult to wake up fully at the same time.
Is it that there are too many thoughts, or too few complete ones? I think it is both. And when I stated to sit down and write a blog entry, as soon as I am ready to go on-line and post something, I have to wait for my anti virus software to finish scanning the computer because it slows down everything else while it scans. It is an appropriate analojavascript:void(0)gy for the way my mind is today.

Just Reality

   As I go through my daily routine, I am trying to learn how to improve myself. Only recently I have noticed that I have a tendency to feel sorry for myself, especially now that I have multiple sclerosis. And this self pity is changing into a state wherein I feel more sorry about myself than sorry for myself.

   Almost all of what I have gotten out of life so far, I tried to earn. But it occurs to me that most of what I have is due to luck. I have been fortunate to have known good people who have shared their lives and even their wealth with me. It is shocking when I realize how little I have learned from their example.

   Yes, it is luck that I have. I wish I had learned to listen more. If I have learned anything, it is that my luck is something I have come to expect, but now I realize how much was given to me by others, not gained through my own work.

   I have to amend this. I feel ashamed of my ignorance and arrogance. I have my work cut out for me.

--
JFC

On August 15th, the company I worked for is having their annual picnic. It is an all you can eat lobster feast, with the usual burgers and hot dogs for those who don't want lobster, and salads and cold drinks.
It takes place in a picturesque place in Maine where the president of the company has a beautiful house with a big yard/
The first year I went to this event, it was a foggy day, and you could hear the fog horn come from the light house down on the coast/ It was charming.
Since I came down with multiple sclerosis, I have not been working, but I get an invitation to the picnic, as do other alumni and their families. It was the nicest job I have had, and the friendliest group of coworkers as well.
The president's daughter is somebody I have known since I was in second grade, she has always been like a sister to me. The whole family are some of the friendliest people I have known, I wish I could work at that company for ever.
I am so excited about the picnic, I have been thinking about it for a solid two days.

Too much exposure

A woman on a trolley in Boston was leaning over and accidentally exposed her breasts and was photographed by a man who was sitting there and happened to have a camera. The woman told a transit cop who arrested the guy. In court, the defense argued that taking a picture of such a thing did not constitute a crime.
What I wonder is how the defense never mentioned indecent exposure which, I always thought was considered a crime. If in a public place a woman was exposed long enough for someone to take a photo of her bare breast, why are they overlooking that?