I get phone calls from a service that was part of the health insurance I had at my last job. It is a health management service for people with chronic illness. They need a monthly update for their records. They ask about medications and daily dosages thereof. And if I am seeing new doctors. They ask if I have depression, or thoughts of suicide. After the questions, they ask me to rate their helpfulness on a scale of one to ten. It can take up to five or ten minutes each month. It is free, and they are able to help me with finding resources if I need advice concerning my health.
The pharmaceutical companies that manufacture the medications I take also call me with such questions update their quality control.
Sometimes I am a bit tired of the monthly questionnaires, especially if they call when I am eating, or in the morning while I am likely to be groggy.
On one such morning call, when they got to the question about thoughts of suicide, I was frustrated by the interruption of my sleep, and, in my irritation, I asked,
“How is it that you always ask about thoughts of suicide, but never whether I have thoughts of homicide?”
I knew I was being sarcastic, and that I was being recorded, so I apologized, but I honestly think that, if they know I am ill, and they know it is with MS, my question was legitimate.
I decided to put it into a comedy routine, and leave the it at that.
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